Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Violence against women: A spectator event...

I don't understand this teenagers today. So angry, so violent, so desensitized to anger and violence. I'm going to write this and I ask that you bear with me because I might babble...so many thoughts are running through my head. A few hours ago, I read an article on CNN.com about a young girl, possibly 15 years old, being gang-raped and beaten by four males (can't call them men because true men do not do such things and can't call them boys because they were old enough to know the difference between right and wrong). This disgusting and violent crime happened right outside of her high school's homecoming dance. This alone makes me want to react violently, but add the fact that approximately 15 people, perhaps students, stood around and watched this girl's brutal violation and DID NOTHING TO STOP IT...NOTHING! When you add that to this story, it makes it that much more sickening! This girl was going through the ugliest, scariest, most traumatic and humiliating moments of her life and there were people standing there watching! I can only imagine that she would have been thinking "Someone please help me! Please! Someone stop this!" But no one had it within them to push these guys off of her? I mean dang, even if you want to use that weak excuse of "being afraid for one's personal safety", someone could have ran inside the school and told a teacher what was happening outside of the school! But nope, each person chose to be a spectator to the abuse of this girl. They probably have no idea that they were bearing witness to her mental breakdown, or maybe they did and they did not care at all.

I do not understand where we are as a society where violence against women is just something to watch, something to accept and not something to stop.  Women face so much hatred (direct and indirect) and abuse (physical, emotional, and mental). And we often become just as desensitized as men to the violence commited against us. Rumor is that that some girls went to a party after the crime was committed and they were overheard joking about it...joking about the fact that a girl was beaten and raped. As I said, this is a rumor, but would this surprise me if it were found to be true? Not at all. There is no solidarity among us women. We fall into the catty, back bitting foolishness and in extreme cases we defend the abuser! What in the world?!?! Maybe some of us feel that if we defend the woman, we are bashing the man? I don't believe that it has to be an either-or situation. But if it comes down to a choice between the two, I'm choosing my sisters...those deserving, of course. I say "deserving" because I know that there are women out there who lie about being abused, whether it is to save themselves from some consequence (see Hofstra rape) or to get revenge (see Megan Williams). In situations like the Hofstra story and Megan Williams, when found guilty of falsely accusing someone of rape, there should be legal consequences. But that is another story...

My main point is that we have to stop standing by, letting women be abused, and doing nothing to stop it. It's one thing to walk around wearing ribbons for Domestic Abuse Awareness, but it's a whole other thing to actually have the courage to be proactive about stopping the abuse. We have to teach our daughters, sisters, and other female relatives that violence, any violence, against women is WRONG! We have to teach our sons, brothers, and male relatives the same thing. And we have to get rid of the "stop snitching" mentality! This is probably the reason that no one went inside the school and told someone that the young girl was outside being brutalized! If you see wrong happening, SPEAK UP! If just one person had done so, maybe the what happened outside of that high school would have went differently.

According to the Los Angeles Times, a girl, who heard some people talking about the rape, called the police. Thank goodness there was at least one person with the decency to call 911. So far, several guys have been arrested. I wish those who stood back and watched could be charged with something! I've been on simmer since last night, but now getting fired up all over again...


  1. This was a truly horrible story and I too don't understand how so many people can take the attitude, "well it's not me or someone I care about, so it's none of my business."

    As a father of daughters, another aspect of the story was that this girl's father had gone to pick his daughter up and drove around for 3 hours trying to find her while this was happening. I can imagine how worried he must have been-- I used to get sick with worry if my daughters were just a few minutes late.

    Now the girl and her family will have to deal with the thoughtless actions of a bunch of ignorant, criminally minded goons.

    It's sad

  2. *shaking my head*

    My goodness! I can't even imagine how her father must feel...to have been so close but unaware of what was happening to his daughter...

    I just can't wrap my mind around the mentality that so many kids have today...